I Want To Be The Master Of My Own Body

ClubFoot Club huh? Got a nice ring to it I suppose. I’ve never really considered the idea of a community of people with the same inborn differences coming together in this kind of way to help love and support one another. It warms my heart to see something like this exists for those of us who need it.

My names Josh, I’m 21. I, like so many others here, am working to become as capable of taking care of the body I chose to be born into as I can. For most of my life I didn’t consider the pain and the struggles of living with my foot as something to really take care of, rather I simply chose to ignore it for the most part. I suppose I had become so accustomed to the pain I didn’t bother to imagine what life would be like without it. It honestly wasn’t until somewhere in high school that I finally decided to get orthopedic inserts, which looking back now I can’t even imagine how I was living without them for so long. I’d like to say they did the job, but as many of you probably know it’s not that simple now is it? Even with the inserts, it’s still a struggle. I only just recently started going to a Chiropractor and again I don’t know why I wasn’t going to one before because I definitely should’ve been.

I found out through my Chiropractor that due to my right clubfoot there are a number of physical imbalances throughout my body, like my offset hips and shoulders, the slight tilt in my neck, and even the sacralization of my 5th vertebrae. Needless to say, this woke me up to just how much I really do need to take care of my body. I’ve gotten to a point where I’ve just about had it with being in ignorance about how to even take care of my own physical vessel.

Over the past year and a half I’ve been working out regularly, but I still don’t know how to compensate for my right leg when it comes time for leg day or almost any forms of cardio. Inevitably I end up hurting myself as a result, which I’ve come to just incorporate the pain into my workout schedule as well, spacing out each leg day far enough to recover as best I can. Dancing can also be pretty frustrating. I love to dance and rage my face off at concerts and DJ sets, but I can only rage for so long before I reach my limit and end up limping my way back home. I’d love to be a monster in the gym and on the dance floor, it’s just with the pain and my lack of balance I haven’t quite figured out the best way to incorporate these things into my life.

I’m hoping that maybe by posting this story some of you might be able to point me in the direction of how to fully master my body and all the struggles that came along with it. I also just want to say I hope I don’t sound like I’m over here feeling sorry for myself because I’m not. I just don’t know what to do inside my own body and I’m extremely frustrated with that, and it’s about time that changed.

So please if anybody has any guidance they could offer I would greatly appreciate it. Whether it be certain workouts I could try, alternative healing modalities outside of modern medicine (don’t get me started with modern medicine), or whatever else you think might help, please let me know.
Thank you so much for reading this. I wish you all the best in your own individual journey towards self mastery.

Much love, Josh 🙂

2 thoughts on “I Want To Be The Master Of My Own Body”

  1. Thank you so much for sharing Josh. I too was born with bilateral clubfoot. I am 41 years old, and had my only surgery a little after my 1st birthday, after wearing the cast and cute shoes. Although the surgery was a success, I too struggle with the pain and discomfort after long walks or a good workout. I played softball growing up and it never failed, trying to get out of bed the next day was horrible. Trying to walk on the right foot would send me over the top. We learn to tolerate the pain, and just pull through. I wish there was a way to take it away but as of now I haven’t found anything to help with the pain. I have learned to take it easy and get to know my limits. How far can I push it? Maybe trying using a little heat on that tendon before the work out. That may loosen it up a little and make the tendon more flexible. Even though I’m sure it’s probably maxed out as it is. Hoping the best for you.

  2. Hi, Josh! I have corrected bilateral Clubfoot and have very similar frustrations to you. I had surgery as an infant (now 29). I have started an Instagram account to start talking about all of this, including natural ways to help our pain that hopefully improve us and get at the cause of our pain, not just masking it with shots and more surgeries. Feel free to follow along! @belovelykel

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