Hey there! My name is Rayna and I was born with congenital clubfoot on both of my feet. I was born in 2001 and I just turned 13 this year. Having my clubfeet hasn’t really affected my life when I was younger but now that I am getting older and becoming more aware of my feet compared to others is really getting to me lately and I’m glad I found this site to share my story.
My mother has been my rock growing up and my only parent and I’m so surprised how she has gotten through all of this. But anyways, I started getting corrective surgery when I was only a couple months old and had these huge purple cast on both of my feet until I was maybe a toddler. My feet are not completely corrected, my left foot is flatter then my right foot. So I can stand straight on my left foot but cannot stand comfortably straight on my right. My right foot goes more inward then my left and growing up I’m positive kids have wondered why my feet are oddly shaped, but now I’m getting older and have been going to the same school all my life so my classmates are used to my awkward feet positions but hardly nobody knows why because I am not comfortable with telling them about my feet, they will ask why my foot walks slightly inward and I’ll just say, “I’m just used to walking like that.” But of course getting all my surgeries have left me with scars on my ankles and basically my whole foot.
I would say I have a high tolerance for pain because my ankles will get sore very easily but I really try not to complain because I want to fit in and I don’t want anybody to know. I can do P.E like other kids and thats not a very big struggle but as I said I walk a little inward and its embarrassing to me when people look at me running or when I wear shorts… I have very small calfs and ankles and I am a very bony person. So I hate how whenever me and my mom go jean shopping, that jeans will fit my thighs but not my lower legs properly. It really bugs me wearing shorts and we have to for our p.e class and I feel awkward and uncomfortable and try not to draw attention to my lower body. I’m not a very fast runner (obviously) but I’m I can keep up with other kids as some might not expect that from a kid with corrected clubfoot, but I’m doing well for myself If I say so myself.
I played softball growing up and quit after I felt like other kids kept staring at me and judging me and my ankles get very sore easily so it was a bit of a struggle. I refuse to go swimming with anyone other than my family members, I hate wearing shorts and bathing suits and anything that draws attention to my figure and ankles. I have scars that show enough when I’m wearing normal airwalk or any shoes that are not ankle high. I think to myself so many times during my life that I’m not gonna find someone to marry because of my feet and skinny legs and wont find me attractive. This story of mine is a back story that I never bring up and I am sort of like batman, I have my one side off my life that everybody sees me as but this backstory that nobody knows about.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my life. I would say I’m pretty popular, but if anyone knew and saw my bare feet I would die on the inside. I’m a pretty happy kid, but on the inside once in awhile I just feel like hiding forever and never coming out. I am very insecure about my body and have a very big anxiety problem. I don’t ever cry in public or at school, I don’t think I ever have or will..I don’t like drawing bad attention to myself. I think anyone who has clubfoot and is growing up with it is a very strong person and I admire whoever it is. It is a very hard thing to go through, take it from me. I really hope my children do not have clubfeet because I don’t want them to go through that.
So if you’re reading this, thank you so much for hearing me out and letting me get this off my shoulders.