1. Why isn’t your nose 12 inches long?
   Because then it would be a foot
2. Why couldn’t the two feet get along?
   Because they both thought they were right.
3. What do you call a dinosaur that has a sore foot?
   An Ankle-oh-sore-is (Ankylosaurus)
4. What is the last thing you take off before you go to bed?
   Your feet off the floor.
5. What has four legs but no feet?
   A table
6. What do you call a dinosaur with stinky feet?
   ex-stinked (extinct)
7. What has 50 legs but can’t walk?
   25 pairs of pants
8. Why did the silly kid put T.G.I.F. on his shoes?
   Toes Go In First
9. What lies on the ground, 100 feet up in the air?
   A centipede lying on it’s back
10. What would you get if you crossed a centipede with a parrot?
    A walkie-talkie
11. Who always goes to bed with his shoes on?
    A horse
12. How did the bubblegum cross the road?
    It was stuck to the bottom of the chicken’s foot.
13. What is the fastest way to go to the moon?
    Tickle the bottom of an elephant’s foot!
14. Why don’t centipedes play football?
    By the time they get their shoes on, the game is over.
15. What type of hat does a leg wear?
    A knee cap.
16. Why did they call the new dance “The Elevator”?
    It has no steps.
17. How do you trip the light fantastic?
    Stick out your foot
18. What did one knee bone say to the other knee bone?
    “Let’s get out of this joint.”
19. What did one shoe say to the other shoe?
    I’ll run ahead and see what’s underfoot.
20. What kind of shoes do lazy people wear?
    Loafers
21. What did the horsefly say to the blacksmith?
    Shoe me
22. What do you get when you play the piano with your feet?
    Footnotes
23. Why did the elephant walk around in white gym socks?
    He couldn’t find his sneakers
24. What are a plumbers favourite type of shoes?
    Tap shoes
25. What kind of shoes does a plumber hate?
    Clogs
26. If athletes get athlete’s foot, what do astronauts get?
    Missile-toe.
27. Why did the monster knit himself three socks?
    To keep his three feet warm.
28. Why did the hippo wear red rain boots?
    Because she couldn’t find her yellow ones.
29. What’s white, has four feet and a trunk?
    A mouse going on vacation
30. What’s brown, has four feet, and a trunk?
    A sun-tanned mouse coming home from vacation.
31. What do you have if your head is hot, one foot is cold, and you see spots before your eyes?
    A polka-dotted sock over your head.
32. Why did the elephant paint his toenails red?
    So he could hide in the cherry tree.
33. Why does an elephant wear sneakers?
    So that he can sneak up on mice
34. What has 12 feet and sticks on ice?
    A hockey team
35. What does a shoemaker use to repair shoes?
    Toe-nails
36. How did the Queen find her son on the beach
    She followed his foot prince (prints).
37. What kind of vehicle did the pediatrist (foot doctor) drive?
    A toe truck
38. Why couldn’t the hikers cross the footbridge?
    It had fallen arches
39. What was the foot surgeon’s favorite Olympic event?
    Arch-ery
40. Why didn’t the Mother like her kid’s foot jokes?
    They were too corny.
41. What is the foot capital of Canada?
    Toe-ron-toe (Toronto).
42. Why did the Opera singer only sing songs about feet?
    She was an all-toe singer (Alto).
43. What has 16 feet, is covered in green hair, and loves peanut butter sandwiches?
    I don’t know either but it’s eating your lunch.
44. What do you call the Super bowl victory dance?
    The Foot Ball
45. Did you hear the joke about the gym sock?
    You don’t want to. It stinks.